Treadmill pacing

I’ve discovered a new tool for improving my act.  A treadmill.

Yes, I use the treadmill to stay in shape.  And that’s a very useful way to use this tool.  Being in shape and having stamina contributes greatly to performing as a ventriloquist.  It’s great for breath control.  But, that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about pacing.

My single biggest problem continues to be slowing down every aspect of my show.  I simply talk too fast.  This is especially true with my old man & woman characters, Wilmer and Edna.  I’ve been working with them for over 4 years now, and yet I still struggle to slow myself down enough to truly convey the personality traits and mannerisms of people who are in their 90’s.

The other day while doing my exercise run on the treadmill, it occurred to me to try walking at a pace appropriate to Wilmer.  So, after my regular jog and cool-down phase, I slowed the treadmill way down.  Then slowed it down some more.  As I walked at a painfully slow pace, I started working through the routine in my head.  I envisioned Wilmer walking along side me.  I pictured how he’d move on his puppet stand if we were doing the show at that pace.  It clicked.

Now it’s a part of my regular workout on the treadmill.  I spend 2-3 minutes with the treadmill running (well, operating…) at what to me is a painfully slow pace.  Then, when I pull Wilmer out of the case, I think about walking on the treadmill at that pace.

It’s working.

Smile When You Say That

Have you ever walked into a situation that was not what you were expecting?  Or, one that was exactly what you expected, but not what you wanted?  I’m talking about those gigs where you walk in and your first thought is, “Oh, crap.”

What brings this to mind are a couple of the more challenging gigs I did this past month.  My contract provides clear instructions that state, “All seating is to be arranged in front of the performance area, not to the sides and never behind.”  Yet, I still have the occasional event where I walk into a room and think, “Oh, crap.”

My full contract package devotes a full sheet of paper to suggested room layouts, including notes on low-hanging balloons.  (The result of one particular gig where I got dinged on my ratings because people in the back could not see the show.  Somehow it was my fault that the decorating committee put low-hanging balloons on all the tables.)

In addition to putting this information in the contract package, I now call most facilities directly to make sure they received a copy of these guidelines.  The reality is that most times the person who hired me doesn’t bother sharing this important information with the person responsible for arranging the tables.  Many times, the facility has no idea I’m even coming.

I had two particularly challenging events in December.  Both had the potential to become total disasters.  Both turned out great, which is to say that the person who hired me was very happy after the performance.  Here’s what I did that made the difference – I smiled.

When you have one of those, “Oh, crap” moments, how do you finish the thought?  You have two choices:

1. “This will never work.”
2. “How can we make this work?”

It’s amazing how powerful a smile can be during a tense situation.  Couple that with an attitude that conveys, “I’m going to do everything I can to make it work out” and you have a winning hand.

In the case of these two particular problem events, the room layouts were completely wrong.

Gig #1, I was going to be over 50 feet away from the first row of tables.  Gig #2, I would be performing to an empty dance floor with tables off to both sides.  Rearranging the tables was not an option for either event.  The solution was the same in both cases.  We had people move their chairs closer during the performance.

But here’s what really made the difference.  I smiled.

During dinner, I walked around to the tables and told people I would be inviting them to move their chairs for the show.  I started with those seated farthest away from where I’d be performing.  I said it with a smile.  And I offered them a deal – If you move up front, I won’t pick on you.  Anyone who stays where they are is fair game.  Of course, I didn’t actually honor that, but no one cared.  It lightened the situation.

There’s one more thing I did for Gig #1 that really helped.  I was not prepared for what I found when I arrived.  After all, I had spent several phone calls earlier that week talking with the facility manager and the DJ to make sure things were all arranged.  I was downright angry to find that things were not as we had discussed.  I unloaded the truck, moved my equipment into the room, then went back outside one more time.  Outside, in my truck, where nobody could hear me, I called my wife.  When she answered I said, “I need to get this out of my system so that I can go back inside with a smile on my face and deal with the situation.”  She kindly listened while I whined, inserting a gentle, “Oh, man, that stinks” in all the right places.  After my verbal dump of the situation, I thanked her for listening, sighed a final big sigh, pasted on my smile, and went back inside to work on a solution.

Neither show went as well as it could have with a better room layout.  But, both shows went well given the circumstances.  And most importantly, the clients were happy.

Put on your best smile and ask, “How can we make this work?”

What water?

The January 2009 edition of Golf Digest just arrived on my doorstep last week.  There is an article about Tiger Woods.  (Big surprise…)

Like many people, I love to watch Tiger play golf.  When he is in his zone, it seems as though nothing can stop him.  It is fascinating to me to watch anyone who is such a master at their craft.

If you play golf, then you are familiar with the common psych-out strategy of saying to your opponent, “Watch out for the water on your left.”  This simple comment, given as if it were a helpful suggestion, implants in the mind the one place where you DON’T want your ball to go.  So, what happens?  That’s exactly where it goes.  Plop!

Tiger’s dad taught him a different question to ask himself.  “Where do you want the ball to go?”  Well, obviously, right down the middle of the fairway.  OK, then think about that.

How many times do we psych ourselves out by thinking of what we do NOT want to happen, rather than concentrating on that which we DO?  We focus on what we fear rather than on what we desire.

Focus your energies on the path you wish to follow.  Envision the ball soaring ahead, landing with a gentle roll on the middle of the fairway.

Water?  What water?

Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve been trying something new lately and it’s working for me – an attitude of gratitude.

As I struggle with the business side of my business, it is so easy to get depressed and grumpy. Am I making enough money? Can I survive on this? Is it going to work out? Am I going to have to go back to a “real” job?

The answers are: No. No. Yes. Maybe.

Then it struck me.  So what?  I am living the dream. Right now, at this moment, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.  I get to bring laughter to people’s lives.  How cool is that?

So, rather than whine about how the higher-paying gigs are not coming in at the rate I’d like, I’ve started telling myself every day how cool it is that I get to do this at all.  Rather than immediately turning down events that are below some artificially set fee threshold, I talk with the client in more detail.  What is your situation? What can you afford?  Are there ways we can get creative with the financing of the performance?

Now, understand, I’m not doing this kind of “creative financing” for gigs that are 6 months out and I’m not doing it for corporations that are just being cheap.  I’m mostly talking about those last minute calls. Shows that are 2 weeks from now (or less!) and I can see that my calendar is empty on that date. I know that the chances of another gig coming up in that time frame are slim.  Why not take it?

I’m also actively seeking opportunities to donate performances.  These fall into my guidelines that I spelled out in an earlier posting.  Last night I got to do one of these.  I did 3 hours of strolling close-up magic for the Children’s Hunger Alliance.  It was a blast!  They brought kids in from all over Columbus, mostly inner city areas, to the Nationwide Arena.  The kids got to ice skate on the main ice, the same place the Columbus Blue Jackets play their games.  How cool is that?  Half the kids skated while the other half got a good, hot meal.  Then they traded places.  There were about 600 kids plus another 150 volunteers to run the event.  I strolled around the tables while they were eating their dinner.  Sign me up again for next year!

What are you grateful for today?  What are your gifts?  Share them!

Marketing 101

I just returned from the NSA Fall Conference in Scottsdale, AZ.  I went specifically to attend the 2-day “intensive track” on marketing. For those of you following along, I belong to both Toastmasters and NSA (National Speakers Association).  Toastmasters teaches you how to speak, NSA teaches you how to get paid for it.

It was a whirlwind trip. The convention officially opened at 5:00 on Thursday evening.  But, I also registered to attend a special pre-convention seminar on Thursday afternoon from 1:30-4:30.  So, here was my first day:

• 6:30am (Eastern time) – Flight leaves Columbus – 37 degrees outside
• 2 hour layover in Chicago – get something to eat
• 12:20pm (Mountain time) – Flight lands in Phoenix – 85 degrees outside
• 1:30pm – Arrive at hotel, check in, drop off bags in room
• 1:45pm – Get to registration desk.  Find out I’m invited to a “first-timers’ meet & greet” from 3-5.  I’m also informed of a special meetup of one of the sub-groups I’m in within NSA from 3-4.  Head off to the pre-convention seminar a bit late.
• 3:10pm – leave seminar (it’s OK, but not hitting directly where I need), go to sub-group meetup.  Who is speaking?  Patricia Fripp.  Holy cow!  First day at NSA and I’m already going to meet the mentor of my mentors.  Great session, goes a bit long (that’s a good thing), and I have a personal encounter with Patricia that clues me in on one of her pet peaves – I used the word “stuff”.  Those of you who know her will understand.
• 4:30pm – walk to other end of hotel property (feels like at least a half mile) to get in on last few minutes of first-timers’ meeting. Too late, already closed down.  Buzz by room for a moment, and head down for opening session.
• 5:00pm – Opening session.  Great kick-off for the convention.  Speaker is Jackie Freiberg talking about her new book, “BOOM! – 7 Choices for Blowing the Doors Off Business as Usual”.  Good topic.  Having spent years witnessing mediocrity-creep first hand, I can relate.
• 7:00pm – Opening booze-and-schmooze event down by the pool.  Cash bar, good food.  I’m starving because I haven’t eaten since the layover in Chicago 12 hours ago.

Friday – Full-day seminar with Bob Smith.  Incredible content-rich seminar.  Directly relevant to what I need right now.  This plus meeting Patricia Fripp the previous day has made the trip worthwhile already.  The rest of the convention can suck, I’ve gotten my money’s worth.

Saturday – Full-day seminar with Steve Miller.  Remember I said I’d already gotten my money’s worth?  Good thing.  This one just didn’t work for me. Mismatch between my needs and what he had to say.  By 10:30 I had gotten everything I was going to get from this session.

Saturday 2:10pm – Walk into a different seminar and try the 2:00-5:00 session on using social media web sites to drive business.  Ford Saeks is the presenter.  Back to fantastic content that is right on target for me.  I walk out with a todo list a mile long. I’ve already implemented one of the take-aways on my web site.  Specifically? Make all graphical elements clickable.  Go check out the front page of my web site.  Now the front graphic is clickable.  Clicking on any character will take you to that character’s page on my site where before it did nothing.  Also made some subtle text changes.  More to do, but it’s a start.

Sunday 5:00am – Leave hotel in shuttle van to start my trip home.

I’ll probably write more about what I learned in future posts.  Right now I need to go modify my YouTube profile to implement some of the tips I picked up.

Biggest mistakes

I’ve been listening to another CD course I bought from one of my favorite speakers, Darren LaCroix.  This particular course is called, “Get Paid to Speak by Next Week“.  One item in particular jumped out at me and grabbed me by the throat.

Disc number 4 is, “The Top 16 Biggest Mistakes”.  The mistake that grabbed me is, “Quitting too soon.”  If you’ve been reading my posts of late, you know that I have been struggling with my business.  I am loving this life, but a couple months ago my inner demons started screaming.  Fear has been coming on strong.  I started fearing the cash flow, or rather the unidirectional nature of it.

Several of you have written to me about these posts and I deeply appreciate your comments.  Some of you have said, “Hey, don’t worry about it.  If you have to take on another job for a while, do it.  Do what you’ve gotta do.”  And some of you (fewer in number) have said, “Don’t give up.  Keep at it.  It will work out.  Give it time.”  And yet others of you who know my family situation a bit more intimately have said, “Tell your wife to get a job first!”  We have affectionately called it playing real-job chicken.  Which of us is going to flinch first?  (For those of you who don’t know, she is actively working on her first novel.)

Interestingly enough, the people who have written telling me not to fret having to go back to a day job are working a regular job themselves.  The people who have written encouraging me to stay the course and not back down, are out there on their own.  Let’s see, which do I aspire to become?  Right.  Guess that’s the advice I should follow.

If you ever have the opportunity to hear Darren LaCroix speak, jump on it.  He is funny and inspiring.  His materials are pricey when compared to a book, but extremely affordable when compared with other video and audio courses.  And if you can catch him in person, take your checkbook and take advantage of the discounts he offers when you buy things right there.  I attended the District 40 Toastmasters conference specifically to hear him speak and especially to pick up this latest course at the discounted price.  His materials are primarily targeted at aspiring speakers, but it also applies to entertainers in general.

Here’s a photo from that day:

Darren LaCroix and David Crone

Hardware store

I went to the hardware store yesterday.  I bought 2 screws at 7 cents each.  A whopping total of 14 cents for my purchase.  This isn’t the first time I’ve gone to a hardware store and made a purchase totalling well under a dollar.  Each time, I’ve left wondering whether they actually made any money off of my purchase.  By the time you factor in the time it took for the cashier to ring up the sale, or in many cases, the store clerk’s time in helping me locate the specific nut or screw that I needed, there is no way they are making money on that particular transaction.  And yet, they are still there.   They are still in business. And I continue to go back.

Years ago I worked in a bicycle shop.  When we did repairs, we often would have to replace various items.  Many times these were nuts and bolts.  Every item was itemized on the bill.  Most of these miscellaneous pieces of hardware were 2 to 5 cents apiece.  I remember grumbling about having to track those items.  I asked the store owner why he bothered, why not just eat that cost as a part of the total?  Here would be a $70 repair bill, with 3 items listed at 3 cents.  Did that 9 cents really make a difference?

The light bulb is finally starting to come on.  I’ve been looking back over the past year, contemplating all of the shows that I turned down.  A birthday party here, a campground there.  I turned these down because what they would be able to pay was so much less than what I would get if I booked a corporate event on that same date.  I was afraid to commit a slot on my calendar below a certain price threshold for fear of losing an opportunity on that same date for something bigger.  As I consider this, I am not aware of a single instance where a bigger show actually came through on one of those dates.  Hmm…

Leaving the hardware store yesterday, it occurred to me that I have been following a broken model.  If a hardware store operated like I have been, they would only carry screws in 100-packs.  To get the 2 screws I needed would have cost me $5 instead of 14 cents.  And I’d be stuck with 98 screws I’d probably never use.  How many potential clients are out there who don’t want the full stage show complete with sound system and lights?  A typical corporate event consumes 5 hours of my time on site.  What if I changed my model and offered a lesser package for less money?  How can I offer 2 screws instead of forcing everyone to buy the whole variety-pack?

See you at the hardware store.

Resume

A while back I talked about updating my resume and the possibility of returning to a “real” job.  That process is very much under way, even as I continue my marketing efforts in the hopes of not needing to complete that effort.  I am actively putting together a marketing plan and working with someone to assist in revising my resume for some targeted jobs.  In the meantime, I thought I’d post my current version of the resume here, just for grins.

Part of my long-term strategy for my own business is to segue into educational/motivational presentations where the entertainment portion is one part of the overall package.  Deliver a message in a fun and engaging way.  I already do that some now.  Many of my shows are built around a theme or incorporate a message as dictated by the client.  But, I have not yet created the keynote level of “wow!” presentation I hope to have someday.  So, my primary target in the day job search is corporate training.  If I can’t do it all on my own (yet), might as well do what I really want to do under someone else’s umbrella for a while.

Here ya’ go.  And, yes, I was a muckity-muck.

David J. Crone

[home address]

[home and cell phone]

[email address]

Highly regarded leader, mentor and coach with a passion for helping others achieve their goals. Uniquely able to engage executives and staff at all levels. Adept at building cohesive teams from scratch and providing renewed focus to existing ones.

Professional Experience

I’m No Dummy Productions LLC – Columbus, Ohio June 2005 – Present

Blending comedy, ventriloquism and magic to deliver a message or just for fun at corporate events around the country. Major themes include: “Work should be fun!”, “Change is good” and “What do you want to be when you grow up?” See more at http://www.ImNoDummy.com

AOL and CompuServe – Columbus, Ohio January, 1992 to June 2007

Sr. Technical Director & Operations Architect

Network Engineering and Operations

Led the operation, engineering and architecture teams for all AOL data center networks worldwide with annual capital budget in excess of $15 million. Integrated multiple network operations teams. Standardized best practices across the teams. Directly managed directors and managers.

· Significantly reduced maintenance-induced network outages by applying software engineering practices to network operations. Reduced staffing needs by 10% through organizational restructuring and improved work-flow.

· Managed relationships with multiple network equipment vendors (Cisco, Juniper, Foundry). Negotiated contracts. Ensured compliance with Servlce Level Agreements (SLAs).

· Led deployment of AOL across TimeWarner cable systems nationwide. Directly oversaw network design, evaluated vendors, and negotiated contract for equipment. Worked across departments within AOL and TimeWarner Cable to ensure smooth execution. Repeated the process for deployment across DSL systems nationwide.

· Led cross-department tiger team to address system stability issues at Netscape. Directed 15 people over 5 days to rebuild netscape.com.

Operations Leadership

· Evangelized adoption of a holistic approach to system deployment. Worked closely with application developers, system administrators, network engineers and their managers, directors and VPs to improve operation and efficiency. Broke new ground in cross-team cooperation.

· Created Network Analysis department to investigate the most difficult technical problems spanning organizational boundaries. Defined team structure, set goals, presented findings to senior leadership (VP and above), crossed organizational boundaries to develop solutions.

· Launched CompuServe’s initial Internet presence. Managed server deployment and capacity planning for www.compuserve.com. Wrote software to connect CompuServe’s traditional systems with the Internet.

· Acted as liaison between software development and operations groups. Managed vendor relationships for servers and network equipment. Ensured appropriate server capacity. Led cross-department architecture team.

· Provided guidance and insight to CTO during time of senior leadership upheaval.

Information Systems Security

Led the purchase of a centralized system to detect and provide notification of security incidents across entire AOL system. Researched vendors. Drove the RFP (Request For Proposal) process. Formed cross-department team to conduct evaluations. Made final selection of vendor. Negotiated price and service levels.

Software Development

· Managed team of software engineers. Mentored new hires and college interns.

· Supported UNIX and Windows NT operating systems at the kernel level.

· Developed X.25 device driver suite for UNIX and Windows NT.

Cross Department Leadership

· Member of AOL Patent Committee. Reviewed submissions to determine patent worthiness and determine in which countries to file.

· Member of team that developed Service Level Agreements (SLAs) for separation of company when CompuServe was divided and sold to WorldCom and AOL.

· Executive lead for United Way campaign on AOL Columbus campus.

· Liaison to TechColumbus (formerly Columbus Technology Council) for AOL Columbus.

· Sponsored formation of onsite Toastmasters club.

· Mentored up-and-coming leaders.

· Winner of multiple awards for innovation and service excellence.

Display Automation Group – Dublin, Ohio July, 1989 – November, 1991

Chief Software Engineer for this startup company. Developed coding standards and wrote the majority of the software. Projects included BIOS level software for PC hardware device, device driver software for MS-DOS/Windows and PC-MOS operating systems and hardware test suite. Worked in Assembly Language and C.

Combustion Engineering – Columbus, Ohio July, 1988 – June 1989

Software Engineer – Developed process automation software for use in paper manufacturing and the processing of rubber for the automobile tire industry. Specialized in communications interfaces to sensors and external processing systems. Worked in Assembly Language.

American Auto-Matrix – Export, Pennsylvania July 1985 – June 1988

Software Engineer – Developed software for use in building automation systems which controlled heating and ventilation for industrial complexes. Collaborated on development of embedded real time operating system kernel. Wrote peer-to-peer communications protocol for use by these systems. Worked in Assembly Language.

Quasitronics – Houston, Pennsylvania November, 1983 – June, 1985

Hardware and Software Engineer – Developed embedded systems software for custom-built laboratory control systems. Designed analog interface to microprocessor system to allow connection and measurement of laboratory instruments. Wrote BASIC interpreter for use in embedded systems. Worked in Assembly Language and BASIC.

Education

· BS Electrical Engineering, University of Pittsburgh

· Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP), 2006

Other

· Member of The National Speakers Association (NSA)

· US Patent #5,680,303 – Communication Device Sharing on a Local Area Network

Trust your instincts

Doesn’t everyone try out brand new material in front of an audience of 800+ people?  No?  Guess I’m just nuts.  (Hey!  You don’t have to agree so quickly.)

This past weekend I was thrilled to be part of the 125th anniversary gala event for the Struthers Library Theatre in Warren, PA.  This theater holds a special place in my heart.  When I was a kid, it was the only movie theater in town.   When the community banded together to renovate it for use as a real theater again in 1982, I was part of the crew.  My particular contribution was the design of the sound system and oversight of its installation.  (I am happy to say it has been substantially upgraded since then.)  I even gave my right thumb to the theater.  As we were dismantling the old movie speakers, a huge horn crushed my thumb.  I still have the thumb, but it no longer bends the way it should.  But, I digress…

When the theater held its grand reopening, a celebration of its 100th anniversary, I was there.  I performed some brand new (to me) stage illusions as part of the variety show.  I’ve been back a few times since then to be part of other grand shows.  In fact, the video sample on my web site of Jose’ was shot there in 2005.

And that brings us to the present.

I was contacted to be part of the quasquicentennial (that’s 125 years) celebration gala event held this past weekend.  They asked for 8 minutes of comedy ventriloquism.  My part in the program was to represent the vaudeville era of the theater.  So, I wanted to stick with a more traditional hard figure.  That gave me two choices: Gus or Eugene.  Gus’s material is very blue collar and a bit on the rougher side.  I knew that would not be appropriate for this crowd.  The issue with Eugene was that I didn’t have 8 minutes.  I had maybe 3.

After 2 weeks of daily 3-hour sessions in my studio, I finally had a routine that clocked almost exactly 8 minutes.  If felt pretty good to me.  Still, it was untested material.  Remember the 3 minutes I had?  That ended up in the middle of the 8 minutes.  I know, I know, when you add new material to a routine, the prevailing wisdom is to add it to the middle.  Also, it is usually a good idea to try out new material on “safe” audiences.  I broke both those rules.

Now, this isn’t to say that I avoided all sanity checks.  I did send my opening and closing bits via email to a trusted friend in the business (Thanks, Tom!).  And, I did have a plan B – use Curtis with his proven 7-minute routine which I could easily make an 8-minute set with a brief introduction.  But, I really wanted to get Eugene out there.  I’ve had this figure for over 2 years and I’ve struggled to fully realize his potential.  This was the perfect motivation that I needed.

The result?  It was a huge hit.  The audience loved it.  There is nothing like being on stage in a big theater and hearing that laughter.  It’s a 977-seat theater with great acoustics.  My best guess on attendance is about 800 people, including the balcony.

So, on to the point of all this rambling. Through my practice in front of a mirror and based on my experience, I felt pretty good about the new material.  My instincts told me this would be funny.  It took a lot of courage (and a touch of bravado) to get up there on that stage for this event and use a majority of new material for my small portion of the show.  If it bombed, I bombed.  This segment was my one and only shot in the show.

A video was shot of the show and I hope to get a copy in a few weeks.  If it comes out as well as I expect, I will finally have a video clip I can post for Eugene’s page on my web site.  And after nearly 2 1/2 years, I finally have the strong basis for a routine for this character.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done something like this.  In March of 2005 I presented 15 minutes of all new, never before tested material in front of a group of 350 people – people that I worked with.  If that show bombed, I’d hear about it on a daily basis.  Friends and family are a forgiving audience.  Co-workers are not.  You can see a video clip of that on the People Puppets section of my web site.  That guy whose mouth I’m putting the words into?  That was my boss at the time.  He had no idea I was going to do that.  And, that was the first time I ever did the human puppet thing.  Bravado?  More like insanity.

Trust your instincts, take risks and be willing to challenge the prevailing wisdom.

Music licensing part 2 – DVDs and such

My previous post covered licensing for music when used in a live setting.  If you want to use music on a DVD that you produce for resale, it is a totally different system.

The good news is that any music that has been released commercially can be used by someone else.  All you have to do is pay for it.  It seems to be pretty straightforward, although I haven’t actually done it yet.  Here’s the web site with the information – Harry Fox Agency, HFA.  Go there and read up.

Basically, you pay a fee that is based on the number of different songs you use, the amount of each song you use (you don’t have to pay for the whole song if only use 20 seconds of it, for example) and the number of units you produce.