Don’t say “no” for them

Here’s a marketing/sales tip for you.  Don’t reject the sale before the client has reviewed the offer.

As entertainers, we’ve all done it. That email, or phone message, or web request comes in asking for a price to do a performance at an event. You read into the message and make assumptions. And you immediately think of all the reasons why they aren’t going to be able to afford your regular fee.  It’s for a small group. It’s in a small town. It’s a kid’s birthday party.  I’m sure you have your own set of filters. As a result, you decide to tell them “no thanks”, or you quote a rate that is less than your usual fee.

Here’s my tip for the day – Respond with your full fee and let them be the ones to say “no thanks”.

I recently received one of those requests. So many of my “this will never fly” alarm bells went off I lost count.  And guess what – I got the gig.

What is the event?  It’s a family gathering, celebrating the birthday of the youngest daughter who is turning 14, in a suburb of Los Angeles, CA.  Oh, and it’s being held on Thanksgiving Day.

My first reaction? I don’t travel that far for a birthday party. You can’t afford what I would charge to do that.  Then I thought, what the heck?  I’ll put it out there and let them make that call, not me.

I have a standard fee structure that I use.  Hopping on a plane is my highest rate. As another performer put it, “You’re not paying for my performance. The performance is free.  I do this for fun.  You’re paying to get me there.”  The logistics of taking my act on a plane require a great deal of effort and that is reflected in my fee structure.

In terms of cost to the client, this is one of my highest paying events for the whole year (so far).  And yet it’s for one of the smallest groups.  (About 30 people.)  Yeah, sure, I won’t be spending Thanksgiving Day with my family. Oh, well.  Believe me, I’ll be giving thanks on that day.

Missed opportunity

The show in Zanesville went great last week. It is so cool to have an audience of people who made a conscious choice to leave the comfort of their homes and pay money to watch me perform. So much of my work is for captive audiences: corporate events where people are expected to show up. It is hard to express how amazing it feels that these people last week chose to attend the show.

It became clear early on that I missed an opportunity while I was there. Several people asked me whether I had anything to sell.  T-shirts, DVDs, anything.  Both of these are in the works, but not quite ready.  Actually, the DVD will quite likely incorporate footage from this very show.

How many other shows have I done where I could have made a few extra bucks – and distributed promotional materials at the same time! – but missed the opportunity for lack of product to offer?  Well, stay tuned, because I hope to never miss this particular opportunity again.

I’d love suggestions and comments on possible T-shirt designs. Eugene and Jose’ are the most likely characters to have their own shirts. And, of course, there will be some playing around with “I’m No Dummy” text. What kind of shirt would YOU buy? Let me know. Heck, shoot me a design! If I use your design, I’ll send you a free shirt.

Billboard

This is so cool.  My face on a billboard.

This is for a performance next week in Zanesville, OH.  You can find more information at the Muskingum County Conference & Welcome Center’s web site. At least, you’ll be able to once their web site gets fixed. As I write this, it is unavailable as they are in the process of launching a new version of the site.

Zanesville has been very good to me over the past several years. I’ve done more shows there than in my own suburb of Upper Arlington. In many ways, I feel more at home there than I do in UA.

A few years ago, the head of tourism in Zanesville had me listed as one of the local attractions for the area. You can see the result here in the listing for the Fairfield Inn.

All of this is very cool and very humbling. It is truly amazing to have other people promoting you. I hope that you have an opportunity to experience this same joy.

And if you can get to Zanesville, OH, next Thursday evening, I’d love to have you in the audience.

Bad show or bad audience?

If you’re in this business, you’ve surely had a show (or 2…) where the audience did not laugh.   You told the same joke you’ve told 100 times before, the same way, and no response.  And you’ve probably experienced a performance where nothing seems to click.  The audience sits there, stone faced, some smattering of polite applause, but no raucous laughter where you are used to hearing it.

Is that a bad audience?

I recently performed at an event where I was one of several performers on the stage.  I used two characters from my regular show.  These two characters (Eugene and Curtis) have been getting great responses.  At this particular event, with nearly 300 people in the audience, the laughter was only so-so.  A week prior, a room with 30 people was laughing so hard they fell out of their chairs and the noise was heard in the hallways from behind closed doors.  Same material.

Whose fault is that?

Several friends of mine were in the audience of 300.  They assured me I did a great job.  “But, the laughs were not what I would normally expect.”, I told them.  “Don’t worry about it.”, they said in response, ” Most of those people wouldn’t laugh at anything.”

Still, it bothered me. My job is to entertain.  Specifically, to make people laugh.  (Or, more correctly, to free the laughter that is bottled up inside.  I don’t think you can really make someone laugh.  Aside from physically tickling the person, I suppose.  But, I digress…)

If my job is to make people laugh and they’re not laughing, have I failed to do my job?  I’ve heard that Jay Johnson has said his approach to ventriloquism is to attempt to make people laugh, but that even if they aren’t laughing, to be so good that at least they are entertained by your skill as a ventriloquist.  I guess I subscribe to the Jeff Dunham school of ventriloquism.  Jeff sees himself as a comedian who happens to use ventriloquism as his vehicle.  Yes, you have to be good technically, but if they’re not laughing, what’s the point?

I’d love to hear from more of you out there on this topic.

Smile When You Say That

Have you ever walked into a situation that was not what you were expecting?  Or, one that was exactly what you expected, but not what you wanted?  I’m talking about those gigs where you walk in and your first thought is, “Oh, crap.”

What brings this to mind are a couple of the more challenging gigs I did this past month.  My contract provides clear instructions that state, “All seating is to be arranged in front of the performance area, not to the sides and never behind.”  Yet, I still have the occasional event where I walk into a room and think, “Oh, crap.”

My full contract package devotes a full sheet of paper to suggested room layouts, including notes on low-hanging balloons.  (The result of one particular gig where I got dinged on my ratings because people in the back could not see the show.  Somehow it was my fault that the decorating committee put low-hanging balloons on all the tables.)

In addition to putting this information in the contract package, I now call most facilities directly to make sure they received a copy of these guidelines.  The reality is that most times the person who hired me doesn’t bother sharing this important information with the person responsible for arranging the tables.  Many times, the facility has no idea I’m even coming.

I had two particularly challenging events in December.  Both had the potential to become total disasters.  Both turned out great, which is to say that the person who hired me was very happy after the performance.  Here’s what I did that made the difference – I smiled.

When you have one of those, “Oh, crap” moments, how do you finish the thought?  You have two choices:

1. “This will never work.”
2. “How can we make this work?”

It’s amazing how powerful a smile can be during a tense situation.  Couple that with an attitude that conveys, “I’m going to do everything I can to make it work out” and you have a winning hand.

In the case of these two particular problem events, the room layouts were completely wrong.

Gig #1, I was going to be over 50 feet away from the first row of tables.  Gig #2, I would be performing to an empty dance floor with tables off to both sides.  Rearranging the tables was not an option for either event.  The solution was the same in both cases.  We had people move their chairs closer during the performance.

But here’s what really made the difference.  I smiled.

During dinner, I walked around to the tables and told people I would be inviting them to move their chairs for the show.  I started with those seated farthest away from where I’d be performing.  I said it with a smile.  And I offered them a deal – If you move up front, I won’t pick on you.  Anyone who stays where they are is fair game.  Of course, I didn’t actually honor that, but no one cared.  It lightened the situation.

There’s one more thing I did for Gig #1 that really helped.  I was not prepared for what I found when I arrived.  After all, I had spent several phone calls earlier that week talking with the facility manager and the DJ to make sure things were all arranged.  I was downright angry to find that things were not as we had discussed.  I unloaded the truck, moved my equipment into the room, then went back outside one more time.  Outside, in my truck, where nobody could hear me, I called my wife.  When she answered I said, “I need to get this out of my system so that I can go back inside with a smile on my face and deal with the situation.”  She kindly listened while I whined, inserting a gentle, “Oh, man, that stinks” in all the right places.  After my verbal dump of the situation, I thanked her for listening, sighed a final big sigh, pasted on my smile, and went back inside to work on a solution.

Neither show went as well as it could have with a better room layout.  But, both shows went well given the circumstances.  And most importantly, the clients were happy.

Put on your best smile and ask, “How can we make this work?”

Marketing 101

I just returned from the NSA Fall Conference in Scottsdale, AZ.  I went specifically to attend the 2-day “intensive track” on marketing. For those of you following along, I belong to both Toastmasters and NSA (National Speakers Association).  Toastmasters teaches you how to speak, NSA teaches you how to get paid for it.

It was a whirlwind trip. The convention officially opened at 5:00 on Thursday evening.  But, I also registered to attend a special pre-convention seminar on Thursday afternoon from 1:30-4:30.  So, here was my first day:

• 6:30am (Eastern time) – Flight leaves Columbus – 37 degrees outside
• 2 hour layover in Chicago – get something to eat
• 12:20pm (Mountain time) – Flight lands in Phoenix – 85 degrees outside
• 1:30pm – Arrive at hotel, check in, drop off bags in room
• 1:45pm – Get to registration desk.  Find out I’m invited to a “first-timers’ meet & greet” from 3-5.  I’m also informed of a special meetup of one of the sub-groups I’m in within NSA from 3-4.  Head off to the pre-convention seminar a bit late.
• 3:10pm – leave seminar (it’s OK, but not hitting directly where I need), go to sub-group meetup.  Who is speaking?  Patricia Fripp.  Holy cow!  First day at NSA and I’m already going to meet the mentor of my mentors.  Great session, goes a bit long (that’s a good thing), and I have a personal encounter with Patricia that clues me in on one of her pet peaves – I used the word “stuff”.  Those of you who know her will understand.
• 4:30pm – walk to other end of hotel property (feels like at least a half mile) to get in on last few minutes of first-timers’ meeting. Too late, already closed down.  Buzz by room for a moment, and head down for opening session.
• 5:00pm – Opening session.  Great kick-off for the convention.  Speaker is Jackie Freiberg talking about her new book, “BOOM! – 7 Choices for Blowing the Doors Off Business as Usual”.  Good topic.  Having spent years witnessing mediocrity-creep first hand, I can relate.
• 7:00pm – Opening booze-and-schmooze event down by the pool.  Cash bar, good food.  I’m starving because I haven’t eaten since the layover in Chicago 12 hours ago.

Friday – Full-day seminar with Bob Smith.  Incredible content-rich seminar.  Directly relevant to what I need right now.  This plus meeting Patricia Fripp the previous day has made the trip worthwhile already.  The rest of the convention can suck, I’ve gotten my money’s worth.

Saturday – Full-day seminar with Steve Miller.  Remember I said I’d already gotten my money’s worth?  Good thing.  This one just didn’t work for me. Mismatch between my needs and what he had to say.  By 10:30 I had gotten everything I was going to get from this session.

Saturday 2:10pm – Walk into a different seminar and try the 2:00-5:00 session on using social media web sites to drive business.  Ford Saeks is the presenter.  Back to fantastic content that is right on target for me.  I walk out with a todo list a mile long. I’ve already implemented one of the take-aways on my web site.  Specifically? Make all graphical elements clickable.  Go check out the front page of my web site.  Now the front graphic is clickable.  Clicking on any character will take you to that character’s page on my site where before it did nothing.  Also made some subtle text changes.  More to do, but it’s a start.

Sunday 5:00am – Leave hotel in shuttle van to start my trip home.

I’ll probably write more about what I learned in future posts.  Right now I need to go modify my YouTube profile to implement some of the tips I picked up.

Biggest mistakes

I’ve been listening to another CD course I bought from one of my favorite speakers, Darren LaCroix.  This particular course is called, “Get Paid to Speak by Next Week“.  One item in particular jumped out at me and grabbed me by the throat.

Disc number 4 is, “The Top 16 Biggest Mistakes”.  The mistake that grabbed me is, “Quitting too soon.”  If you’ve been reading my posts of late, you know that I have been struggling with my business.  I am loving this life, but a couple months ago my inner demons started screaming.  Fear has been coming on strong.  I started fearing the cash flow, or rather the unidirectional nature of it.

Several of you have written to me about these posts and I deeply appreciate your comments.  Some of you have said, “Hey, don’t worry about it.  If you have to take on another job for a while, do it.  Do what you’ve gotta do.”  And some of you (fewer in number) have said, “Don’t give up.  Keep at it.  It will work out.  Give it time.”  And yet others of you who know my family situation a bit more intimately have said, “Tell your wife to get a job first!”  We have affectionately called it playing real-job chicken.  Which of us is going to flinch first?  (For those of you who don’t know, she is actively working on her first novel.)

Interestingly enough, the people who have written telling me not to fret having to go back to a day job are working a regular job themselves.  The people who have written encouraging me to stay the course and not back down, are out there on their own.  Let’s see, which do I aspire to become?  Right.  Guess that’s the advice I should follow.

If you ever have the opportunity to hear Darren LaCroix speak, jump on it.  He is funny and inspiring.  His materials are pricey when compared to a book, but extremely affordable when compared with other video and audio courses.  And if you can catch him in person, take your checkbook and take advantage of the discounts he offers when you buy things right there.  I attended the District 40 Toastmasters conference specifically to hear him speak and especially to pick up this latest course at the discounted price.  His materials are primarily targeted at aspiring speakers, but it also applies to entertainers in general.

Here’s a photo from that day:

Darren LaCroix and David Crone

Trust your instincts

Doesn’t everyone try out brand new material in front of an audience of 800+ people?  No?  Guess I’m just nuts.  (Hey!  You don’t have to agree so quickly.)

This past weekend I was thrilled to be part of the 125th anniversary gala event for the Struthers Library Theatre in Warren, PA.  This theater holds a special place in my heart.  When I was a kid, it was the only movie theater in town.   When the community banded together to renovate it for use as a real theater again in 1982, I was part of the crew.  My particular contribution was the design of the sound system and oversight of its installation.  (I am happy to say it has been substantially upgraded since then.)  I even gave my right thumb to the theater.  As we were dismantling the old movie speakers, a huge horn crushed my thumb.  I still have the thumb, but it no longer bends the way it should.  But, I digress…

When the theater held its grand reopening, a celebration of its 100th anniversary, I was there.  I performed some brand new (to me) stage illusions as part of the variety show.  I’ve been back a few times since then to be part of other grand shows.  In fact, the video sample on my web site of Jose’ was shot there in 2005.

And that brings us to the present.

I was contacted to be part of the quasquicentennial (that’s 125 years) celebration gala event held this past weekend.  They asked for 8 minutes of comedy ventriloquism.  My part in the program was to represent the vaudeville era of the theater.  So, I wanted to stick with a more traditional hard figure.  That gave me two choices: Gus or Eugene.  Gus’s material is very blue collar and a bit on the rougher side.  I knew that would not be appropriate for this crowd.  The issue with Eugene was that I didn’t have 8 minutes.  I had maybe 3.

After 2 weeks of daily 3-hour sessions in my studio, I finally had a routine that clocked almost exactly 8 minutes.  If felt pretty good to me.  Still, it was untested material.  Remember the 3 minutes I had?  That ended up in the middle of the 8 minutes.  I know, I know, when you add new material to a routine, the prevailing wisdom is to add it to the middle.  Also, it is usually a good idea to try out new material on “safe” audiences.  I broke both those rules.

Now, this isn’t to say that I avoided all sanity checks.  I did send my opening and closing bits via email to a trusted friend in the business (Thanks, Tom!).  And, I did have a plan B – use Curtis with his proven 7-minute routine which I could easily make an 8-minute set with a brief introduction.  But, I really wanted to get Eugene out there.  I’ve had this figure for over 2 years and I’ve struggled to fully realize his potential.  This was the perfect motivation that I needed.

The result?  It was a huge hit.  The audience loved it.  There is nothing like being on stage in a big theater and hearing that laughter.  It’s a 977-seat theater with great acoustics.  My best guess on attendance is about 800 people, including the balcony.

So, on to the point of all this rambling. Through my practice in front of a mirror and based on my experience, I felt pretty good about the new material.  My instincts told me this would be funny.  It took a lot of courage (and a touch of bravado) to get up there on that stage for this event and use a majority of new material for my small portion of the show.  If it bombed, I bombed.  This segment was my one and only shot in the show.

A video was shot of the show and I hope to get a copy in a few weeks.  If it comes out as well as I expect, I will finally have a video clip I can post for Eugene’s page on my web site.  And after nearly 2 1/2 years, I finally have the strong basis for a routine for this character.

This isn’t the first time I’ve done something like this.  In March of 2005 I presented 15 minutes of all new, never before tested material in front of a group of 350 people – people that I worked with.  If that show bombed, I’d hear about it on a daily basis.  Friends and family are a forgiving audience.  Co-workers are not.  You can see a video clip of that on the People Puppets section of my web site.  That guy whose mouth I’m putting the words into?  That was my boss at the time.  He had no idea I was going to do that.  And, that was the first time I ever did the human puppet thing.  Bravado?  More like insanity.

Trust your instincts, take risks and be willing to challenge the prevailing wisdom.

There is no such thing as bad publicity

Ever heard that line?  It’s true.  Here’s a perfect example from Jeff Dunham, the master of self-promotion.  This is brilliant.  Jeff is being skewered in the news for being so politically incorrect that he’s been banned in South Africa.  Instead of hiding, Jeff is using that as a promotional piece.  Way to go Jeff!

Below is an email he sent out to his fan club.  (What?  You’re not on Jeff’s fan club email list?  Get with it!  Sign up here.)

This is so cool.  I have so much to learn about self-promotion.

Hey Everybody, Thought you might find this interesting… “Comedian Defends ‘Achmed the Dead Terrorist’ Puppet Routine Against South African Ban” – FOXNews.com ~ click above to read the full article ~ Sincerely, Jeff Dunham P.S. There are still tickets available for our show at the Las Vegas Comedy Festival, November 22nd at Caesar’s Palace. Click HERE to get your tickets! www.jeffdunham.com www.myspace.com/jeffdunham

Reach out and touch someone

I went to see Jeff Dunham’s show in Columbus, OH, last night.  I went with my wife and two good friends.  Funny as hell, as always.  The really cool part was the VIP package.  Here’s us before the show:

Me and friends with Jeff

Jeff is such a gracious guy.  This big star, and he still makes time for people he’s run across along the way.  I’m just some guy he’s met a bunch of times at the Venthaven convention.  OK, so I’m one of the official photographers there, and we’ve exchanged random emails for years, but still.  It’s not like I have his cell phone number or anything like that.

I shot Jeff an email several months back when I heard he’d be in Columbus.  All I asked was whether he’d have time to say hello after the show.  He didn’t stop there.  He arranged for 4 seats on the floor and back stage passes.  How cool is that?

The point of this post is not to brag.  I am still quite humbled by the whole experience.  The point is to encourage you to reach out to people who inspire you.  Don’t be shy.  Be respectful, but put yourself out there.  I have come in contact with a number of big name performers over the years.  With very few exceptions they have been terrific to talk to.

Among the big names I’ve met are (in no particular order) Jeff Dunham (duh!), Terry Fator, Jimmy Nelson, Jay Johnson, Ronn Lucas, Willie Tyler (and Lester), The Amazing Kreskin, Grover Washington Jr, Noel Paul Stookey and many others.  All of these were gracious, kind, and overall just normal people once you get up close and talk with them.  There are many others who I’ve left off.  And I won’t bother mentioning the very few snots I’ve run across.

At a certain level, I can appreciate where they’re coming from.  After one of the bigger shows I was a part of recently (Miracles & Magic), we went out to the lobby afterward to be among the crowd.  A number of kids were going around asking for our autographs in the program.  That was pretty cool.  To them, I was some big star from the stage.  In my mind, I’m still just li’l ol’ me.  I like it when people come talk to me after the show.  The audience is why I’m in this business.

Every performer is different.  Some prefer to talk to people before the show (apparently Jeff is like that, based on last night).  Some (like me) prefer to talk to people after the show.  Be respectful, give them their space, but don’t be afraid to approach people just because they’re a big name (which I’m not.)

Who inspires you?  Who would you like to meet in person?  Take advantage of the next opportunity when they’ll be in your area to reach out to them and make contact.  You just might be surprised.

BTW, this applies within a company structure as well.  Don’t be afraid to reach out several levels above your pay grade to talk with leaders of the company where you work.  Authentic leaders welcome this kind of interaction.  The snots who don’t?  They don’t deserve your time or attention.