Have you ever received feedback that caused you to turn defensive? Have you ever felt criticized? Has anyone ever said something to you that stung? Of course you have.
I was coaching one of my day-job employees the other day and realized that what I was saying to her applied to performers as well. This employee was receiving a lot of messages (email, phone calls, hallway conversations…) concerning the progress of a particular project that she is leading. This is a multi-phase project. All of the comments were directed toward what had already been done. And she was having difficulty hearing these comments as most of them were along the order of “you should have…” and “why didn’t you…”
My words to her were this: Start with “Thank you.”
Receiving feedback is a gift.
Several years ago, I received an extremely valuable gift from one of the attendees at a particular corporate event. I was standing by the exit, talking with people as they were leaving. Most comments were the innocuous, “That was nice”, “We enjoyed that”, etc. Then this gentleman said, “It started slow, but the ending was great.”
Ouch!
It would have been easy to turn defensive or simply let that comment slide past, choosing to hear only the second part. Instead, I mulled it over and considered it. I watched the video of the show (remember that tip from way back?) Guess what? He was right. The show started out very slow. It built slowly in a steady ramp to the finale. Since that night I have worked hard to strengthen the opening. And from there, create more of a series of ups and downs as the show builds to the climax. I work on this constantly. Thank you for that feedback!
Feedback is essential to improvement. For me, the best way to hear feedback is to start with, “Thank You.” That simple phrase said out loud or just in my head reminds me of the gift I was just given.
I challenge you to try it.
