Negotiating fees

Are you struggling to book shows lately? I’ve had numerous conversations with people about pricing, discounting, negotiating fees, etc.  Here are a few of my thoughts.

• Rule #1 – Never negotiate your fee, but do offer discounts.  OK, the cynics are saying, “isn’t that the same thing?”  No, it’s not. Discounts are temporary. They are a special offer, not guaranteed to be available in the future. Whereas, if you negotiate your fee, you’re stuck with that as your new going rate.  In my contract package, I include a formal invoice. I list the performance fee, which is what it always is, then I list line item discounts that reduce the final price to whatever we agreed on.  Feel free to make up discounts.  One example from a recent invoice is, “Special economic stimulus discount”.

• Rule #2 – Always ask for something in exchange for a reduced rate. Do you have products to sell after the show? Maybe offer a discount to your performance fee for explicit permission to sell stuff.  Are you trying to build video footage for promotional use or even a DVD?  Ask for them to provide video recording services.  If nothing else, at least ask them to provide you with at least 3 people whom you can contact using them as a reference.

• And here’s one last idea I’ve been using. I’ve been doing shows for retirement communities around town. Primarily I view these as a service project.  I love doing them as I have a soft spot for senior citizens (I plan to be one someday.)  And it’s really helpful to me in continuing my efforts to ttaallllkkkk ssslllllooooowwweeeerrrr.  My deal with these groups is, “what’s your budget? OK, that’s what I’ll charge you.”  Their budgets barely cover my expenses, but I’ll continue doing this as long as I am able. There are a number of caveats that go with the deal. The main one is that I reserve the right to cancel at any time if I get booked for another event.

The work is out there, folks. Go find the people who need what you have to offer. Don’t give it away, but do work with them to find creative solutions.

Missed opportunity

The show in Zanesville went great last week. It is so cool to have an audience of people who made a conscious choice to leave the comfort of their homes and pay money to watch me perform. So much of my work is for captive audiences: corporate events where people are expected to show up. It is hard to express how amazing it feels that these people last week chose to attend the show.

It became clear early on that I missed an opportunity while I was there. Several people asked me whether I had anything to sell.  T-shirts, DVDs, anything.  Both of these are in the works, but not quite ready.  Actually, the DVD will quite likely incorporate footage from this very show.

How many other shows have I done where I could have made a few extra bucks – and distributed promotional materials at the same time! – but missed the opportunity for lack of product to offer?  Well, stay tuned, because I hope to never miss this particular opportunity again.

I’d love suggestions and comments on possible T-shirt designs. Eugene and Jose’ are the most likely characters to have their own shirts. And, of course, there will be some playing around with “I’m No Dummy” text. What kind of shirt would YOU buy? Let me know. Heck, shoot me a design! If I use your design, I’ll send you a free shirt.

Billboard

This is so cool.  My face on a billboard.

This is for a performance next week in Zanesville, OH.  You can find more information at the Muskingum County Conference & Welcome Center’s web site. At least, you’ll be able to once their web site gets fixed. As I write this, it is unavailable as they are in the process of launching a new version of the site.

Zanesville has been very good to me over the past several years. I’ve done more shows there than in my own suburb of Upper Arlington. In many ways, I feel more at home there than I do in UA.

A few years ago, the head of tourism in Zanesville had me listed as one of the local attractions for the area. You can see the result here in the listing for the Fairfield Inn.

All of this is very cool and very humbling. It is truly amazing to have other people promoting you. I hope that you have an opportunity to experience this same joy.

And if you can get to Zanesville, OH, next Thursday evening, I’d love to have you in the audience.

ASCAP part 2

Several months ago I blogged about getting an ASCAP license.  At the time, it seemed like a great idea.  That opinion has changed.

What I thought was an “annual” license when I paid the money in September, was actually a license that is renewable each January.  They have no concept of pro-rating the fee.  Nor did they clearly disclose that this was the case.  Had I understood all of the details at the time, there is no way I would have paid a full year’s license fee for 3 months.  And believe me, I let them know this over the phone when the renewal bills started coming.

The technicalities of the license are these:  If you are doing purely entertainment, it is the responsibility of the venue to provide the license for any music being used in your performance.  If the purpose of the presentation is educational, it is then the responsibility of the presenter to carry the license.  The woman I spoke with today confirmed this as being correct.  Why they make this distinction I have no idea.  Also, we didn’t get into any fuzzy areas of “main purpose” vs. “side benefits”.

Bottom line is, I no longer carry a license.

Just keep swimmnig

My family spent last week in Orlando, FL.  We spent 3 days at Disney theme parks.  I found great inspiration there. One of the live shows we saw was “Finding Nemo”.  You remember that, right?  Two key points:

1. Just keep swimming – This is Dory’s mantra.  As she is helping Nemo’s dad (Marlin) search for Nemo, they encounter numerous challenges and obstacles.  Through it all, Dory reminds Marlin to just keep swimming.  Many days in my business, I have to remind myself of that. There are those days when it feels like nothing is working, no progress is being made. That’s when I just keep swimming. Some days are harder than others to keep at it, but I keep on swimming.
2. Let go – One of my favorite parts of the show was the turtle scene.  The movie version of this is even better, but the live action turtles are a sight to behold. The wise turtles tell us that when you’re caught up in the East Australian Current, the best thing you can do is let it ride.  When things are moving along, don’t fight it.  Kick back and enjoy the ride.

Just keep swimming.

Bad show or bad audience?

If you’re in this business, you’ve surely had a show (or 2…) where the audience did not laugh.   You told the same joke you’ve told 100 times before, the same way, and no response.  And you’ve probably experienced a performance where nothing seems to click.  The audience sits there, stone faced, some smattering of polite applause, but no raucous laughter where you are used to hearing it.

Is that a bad audience?

I recently performed at an event where I was one of several performers on the stage.  I used two characters from my regular show.  These two characters (Eugene and Curtis) have been getting great responses.  At this particular event, with nearly 300 people in the audience, the laughter was only so-so.  A week prior, a room with 30 people was laughing so hard they fell out of their chairs and the noise was heard in the hallways from behind closed doors.  Same material.

Whose fault is that?

Several friends of mine were in the audience of 300.  They assured me I did a great job.  “But, the laughs were not what I would normally expect.”, I told them.  “Don’t worry about it.”, they said in response, ” Most of those people wouldn’t laugh at anything.”

Still, it bothered me. My job is to entertain.  Specifically, to make people laugh.  (Or, more correctly, to free the laughter that is bottled up inside.  I don’t think you can really make someone laugh.  Aside from physically tickling the person, I suppose.  But, I digress…)

If my job is to make people laugh and they’re not laughing, have I failed to do my job?  I’ve heard that Jay Johnson has said his approach to ventriloquism is to attempt to make people laugh, but that even if they aren’t laughing, to be so good that at least they are entertained by your skill as a ventriloquist.  I guess I subscribe to the Jeff Dunham school of ventriloquism.  Jeff sees himself as a comedian who happens to use ventriloquism as his vehicle.  Yes, you have to be good technically, but if they’re not laughing, what’s the point?

I’d love to hear from more of you out there on this topic.

Treadmill pacing

I’ve discovered a new tool for improving my act.  A treadmill.

Yes, I use the treadmill to stay in shape.  And that’s a very useful way to use this tool.  Being in shape and having stamina contributes greatly to performing as a ventriloquist.  It’s great for breath control.  But, that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about pacing.

My single biggest problem continues to be slowing down every aspect of my show.  I simply talk too fast.  This is especially true with my old man & woman characters, Wilmer and Edna.  I’ve been working with them for over 4 years now, and yet I still struggle to slow myself down enough to truly convey the personality traits and mannerisms of people who are in their 90’s.

The other day while doing my exercise run on the treadmill, it occurred to me to try walking at a pace appropriate to Wilmer.  So, after my regular jog and cool-down phase, I slowed the treadmill way down.  Then slowed it down some more.  As I walked at a painfully slow pace, I started working through the routine in my head.  I envisioned Wilmer walking along side me.  I pictured how he’d move on his puppet stand if we were doing the show at that pace.  It clicked.

Now it’s a part of my regular workout on the treadmill.  I spend 2-3 minutes with the treadmill running (well, operating…) at what to me is a painfully slow pace.  Then, when I pull Wilmer out of the case, I think about walking on the treadmill at that pace.

It’s working.

Smile When You Say That

Have you ever walked into a situation that was not what you were expecting?  Or, one that was exactly what you expected, but not what you wanted?  I’m talking about those gigs where you walk in and your first thought is, “Oh, crap.”

What brings this to mind are a couple of the more challenging gigs I did this past month.  My contract provides clear instructions that state, “All seating is to be arranged in front of the performance area, not to the sides and never behind.”  Yet, I still have the occasional event where I walk into a room and think, “Oh, crap.”

My full contract package devotes a full sheet of paper to suggested room layouts, including notes on low-hanging balloons.  (The result of one particular gig where I got dinged on my ratings because people in the back could not see the show.  Somehow it was my fault that the decorating committee put low-hanging balloons on all the tables.)

In addition to putting this information in the contract package, I now call most facilities directly to make sure they received a copy of these guidelines.  The reality is that most times the person who hired me doesn’t bother sharing this important information with the person responsible for arranging the tables.  Many times, the facility has no idea I’m even coming.

I had two particularly challenging events in December.  Both had the potential to become total disasters.  Both turned out great, which is to say that the person who hired me was very happy after the performance.  Here’s what I did that made the difference – I smiled.

When you have one of those, “Oh, crap” moments, how do you finish the thought?  You have two choices:

1. “This will never work.”
2. “How can we make this work?”

It’s amazing how powerful a smile can be during a tense situation.  Couple that with an attitude that conveys, “I’m going to do everything I can to make it work out” and you have a winning hand.

In the case of these two particular problem events, the room layouts were completely wrong.

Gig #1, I was going to be over 50 feet away from the first row of tables.  Gig #2, I would be performing to an empty dance floor with tables off to both sides.  Rearranging the tables was not an option for either event.  The solution was the same in both cases.  We had people move their chairs closer during the performance.

But here’s what really made the difference.  I smiled.

During dinner, I walked around to the tables and told people I would be inviting them to move their chairs for the show.  I started with those seated farthest away from where I’d be performing.  I said it with a smile.  And I offered them a deal – If you move up front, I won’t pick on you.  Anyone who stays where they are is fair game.  Of course, I didn’t actually honor that, but no one cared.  It lightened the situation.

There’s one more thing I did for Gig #1 that really helped.  I was not prepared for what I found when I arrived.  After all, I had spent several phone calls earlier that week talking with the facility manager and the DJ to make sure things were all arranged.  I was downright angry to find that things were not as we had discussed.  I unloaded the truck, moved my equipment into the room, then went back outside one more time.  Outside, in my truck, where nobody could hear me, I called my wife.  When she answered I said, “I need to get this out of my system so that I can go back inside with a smile on my face and deal with the situation.”  She kindly listened while I whined, inserting a gentle, “Oh, man, that stinks” in all the right places.  After my verbal dump of the situation, I thanked her for listening, sighed a final big sigh, pasted on my smile, and went back inside to work on a solution.

Neither show went as well as it could have with a better room layout.  But, both shows went well given the circumstances.  And most importantly, the clients were happy.

Put on your best smile and ask, “How can we make this work?”

What water?

The January 2009 edition of Golf Digest just arrived on my doorstep last week.  There is an article about Tiger Woods.  (Big surprise…)

Like many people, I love to watch Tiger play golf.  When he is in his zone, it seems as though nothing can stop him.  It is fascinating to me to watch anyone who is such a master at their craft.

If you play golf, then you are familiar with the common psych-out strategy of saying to your opponent, “Watch out for the water on your left.”  This simple comment, given as if it were a helpful suggestion, implants in the mind the one place where you DON’T want your ball to go.  So, what happens?  That’s exactly where it goes.  Plop!

Tiger’s dad taught him a different question to ask himself.  “Where do you want the ball to go?”  Well, obviously, right down the middle of the fairway.  OK, then think about that.

How many times do we psych ourselves out by thinking of what we do NOT want to happen, rather than concentrating on that which we DO?  We focus on what we fear rather than on what we desire.

Focus your energies on the path you wish to follow.  Envision the ball soaring ahead, landing with a gentle roll on the middle of the fairway.

Water?  What water?

Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve been trying something new lately and it’s working for me – an attitude of gratitude.

As I struggle with the business side of my business, it is so easy to get depressed and grumpy. Am I making enough money? Can I survive on this? Is it going to work out? Am I going to have to go back to a “real” job?

The answers are: No. No. Yes. Maybe.

Then it struck me.  So what?  I am living the dream. Right now, at this moment, I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.  I get to bring laughter to people’s lives.  How cool is that?

So, rather than whine about how the higher-paying gigs are not coming in at the rate I’d like, I’ve started telling myself every day how cool it is that I get to do this at all.  Rather than immediately turning down events that are below some artificially set fee threshold, I talk with the client in more detail.  What is your situation? What can you afford?  Are there ways we can get creative with the financing of the performance?

Now, understand, I’m not doing this kind of “creative financing” for gigs that are 6 months out and I’m not doing it for corporations that are just being cheap.  I’m mostly talking about those last minute calls. Shows that are 2 weeks from now (or less!) and I can see that my calendar is empty on that date. I know that the chances of another gig coming up in that time frame are slim.  Why not take it?

I’m also actively seeking opportunities to donate performances.  These fall into my guidelines that I spelled out in an earlier posting.  Last night I got to do one of these.  I did 3 hours of strolling close-up magic for the Children’s Hunger Alliance.  It was a blast!  They brought kids in from all over Columbus, mostly inner city areas, to the Nationwide Arena.  The kids got to ice skate on the main ice, the same place the Columbus Blue Jackets play their games.  How cool is that?  Half the kids skated while the other half got a good, hot meal.  Then they traded places.  There were about 600 kids plus another 150 volunteers to run the event.  I strolled around the tables while they were eating their dinner.  Sign me up again for next year!

What are you grateful for today?  What are your gifts?  Share them!